Online Dating and FaceTime


So humans are visually stimulated right???? Online dating has allowed us to pick and choose at first glance. I think we do this offline too but most people probably won’t admit it. Well I will admit if I don’t feel a little something viewing your photo I’m moving on to the next one. I’ve tried dating men I’m not attracted to and it always ended in disaster. Not anymore and definitely not over 40.

Let me tell you about my near “Catfish” encounter. I met a gentleman on another popular dating cite. We were said to be a 95% match. We had great conversations and started talking on the phone every day. I was looking forward to meeting him but since technology allows you to confirm who people are these days….why not FaceTime or Skype first?!

I mentioned it briefly after speaking for about 1 1/2 weeks. He seemed up for it but didn’t say when. After a couple more conversations, I raised the subject again only to hear hesitation in his voice as he scheduled for a Friday on Monday. I thought it odd he would schedule it so far out but decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. I mean what if he wanted to have an extended conversation without having to worry about work the next day? Ah come on it’s possible right?!

We agreed on Friday; however, I had an appointment at the salon afterwork and would be home late. He said it wouldn’t be a problem and chose to stick to Friday’s commitment. Fast forward to Friday and he called my cell at the exact time I thought I would be home. I was running a bit late and his message stated he was going to bed because he hadn’t heard from me. How odd????? I told him exactly what I was doing. Maybe I should have called as I approached our agreed time but hey it’s Friday night so what’s the big deal?

I called him back to apologize for being slightly late but advised him I was enroute home. He said he hadn’t heard from me all day and it was 10pm so he thought I had forgotten. I apologized again and he said it was cool. We talked some more and he made another comment about not hearing from me. He said he was tired but would talk to me to ensure I made home safely but we would have to Skype tomorrow. I was frustrated because I felt something wasn’t right. We spoke the next day and agreed to speak later that evening at 7pm. Needless to say 7pm rolled around, 7:30, then 8:00 and he finally called. He proceeded to tell me he was at a friends home and lost track of time. He told them he had to leave early because he had plans. My first thought was if he left early he would’ve been on time for our scheduled call. Since I was slightly late for our call the previous night I tried to be forgiving.  I could hide it over the phone but I’m not one to control my facial expression and opted to change the call for the following day.

We didn’t agree on a time but he called around 4pm. He made small talk initially and then asked what was wrong the previous day? I told him nothing I was just baffled how he had given me a hard time for running 15 minutes behind schedule without calling and he was an hour and half late without so much as a text. His voice increased with agitation and he said he did not give me a hard time and he didn’t realize it would be so late. I disagreed as I had reiterated it would be late and he affirmed it would not be a problem. Now I had become agitated. He asked if I was ready to FaceTime because he could call me back in 15 minutes. Why would you need to call back to FaceTime? All you would do is switch the existing call over or boot up to Skype and disconnect the cellular call.

The dodged calls, the irritability, something was not adding up with the dude. I couldn’t quite figure out what was preventing him from visually speaking. He asked again if I wanted to video chat and I declined stating I was no longer interested. It had been too much of a hassle and something told me he would not be the person I thought I had spoken to so many days before.

There is one thing I’ve learned over the years and that’s to trust my gut. I can’t think of one time it has served me wrong. It guides me and let’s me know when something just isn’t quite right. It is definitely my sixth sense and I believe in it whole heartedly. After ending the call, I received a very disturbing text message from this 50 year old man. He wanted me to know I was lost and didn’t know what I wanted. He reiterated he did not give me hard time for being late for our first video date (yes he did) and said I didn’t have to worry about hearing from him again because I was rude.

I replayed the conversations over in my head and could not find where I had been rude to him. Yes I said I was agitated earlier but so was he and I didn’t think he was rude. I will never know if he was the guy shown in his profile pictures. He may have been and just was a bit odd. Either way it was for the best because clearly it wasn’t meant to be.

I don’t care what anyone says…I know I dodged some type of bullet. Thank you intuition for always serving me well!!!


About ariessays

I have no other purpose but to honestly share my thoughts and experiences in hopes of helping someone else cope with this journey called life.
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