I have been trolling websites in hopes of meeting someone of substance and so far the only person I’ve met is ME!
I have found out more about myself than I ever knew. My likes, dislikes, interests, desires, etc. I didn’t think I had a type but it has become apparent that I do and that’s ok. I used to worry about how my preferences were judged by others but I no longer care. I have a level of clarity I wish I had 10 years ago. I have this one life to make the most of and I have wasted so much of it trying to please others and diminish my wants and needs. I got it now though!
The ONLY person I need to ensure is happy is me and my significant other when he shows up again. All the books I’ve read about being single have the same theme. Enjoy this time! Be with yourself! Do all the things you want to do and work on being a whole complete person. It is then and only then will you attract the type of mate you seek. My life has shifted 180 degrees since this time last year. I had a husband and two step children. My life was about taking care of them and ignoring my wants and desires to fulfill theirs. Don’t get me wrong I was more than happy to do it but I now know there should have been a balance. I didn’t keep myself healthy and happy so I ultimately failed myself and them because they didn’t get my “best” self.
Now I’m single and free to do whatever I want. I have gone back to church and love feeding my spirit. I did not realize the how important it was to me to nourish my spirit regularly. I need to worship regularly and remember to express my gratitude for my wonderful life. I can’t describe the impact this has had on me over the last few months. This is critical part of my life that can’t be ignored in the future. My next relationship will have to fall in line with this routine or at the very least provide me the space to maintain it.
I stopped spending time with my friends and you can’t do that because you have a relationship. This is a part of being a whole person! You need time away to miss each other and you gain from your girlfriends what you just can’t get from your mate and vice versa. Who knew I would adjust to the single life so quickly?! I’ve spent my entire (dating) life as a serial “relationshiper”. As the saying goes, the best way to get over a man is to get under another one. Ha! That being said I can still count the number of them on one hand so shut your judgment off. Thanks!
I have decided that I am going to wait for God’s timing. I’m going to take this period to enjoy my life right where it is and have fun! I don’t need another relationship right now. Yes it’s fun to date (not the creeps I’ve ran into but you get my point). Every once in awhile the feeling seeps in that I’m missing something; however, I’m thankful it’s brief and typically runs concurrently with boredom. Solace has been found in writing this blog as well. Who knew it could be so liberating?! I guess you long time bloggers knew but I’m a slow learner. 😉
The point is I get it now and between working on my mental, physical, and spiritual health I’ve got my hands full. I’m praying for another partner but I also want to be ready when he arrives. I am still not my best self so that’s where I’m going to focus. I have faith that God is going to send me someone spectacular because this time I will be ready. It won’t be out of convenience or because I couldn’t find a reason not to like him. THIS TIME he will have the characteristics and values that are important to me. And I will remember to take care of myself even though he’s present. I’m looking forward to his arrival next year, five years, 10 years or whenever God says it’s time!
Until then….she, me, her will be whooping it up!!!!