Have you ever purposefully made a decision that could change your life? Yeah me neither until the ripe age of 43. Here I am in the middle of my life starting to take a risk. I’ve never been much a risk taker because I’ve always been too busy playing it safe. I made the decision to resign from my current position without another to take its place. I am my only source of income yet I took a leap of faith in the, dare I say it, pursuit of happiness! It is amazing how you get older and realize that all money ain’t good money. All the cliche’ terms meant nothing until now.
Am I scared shitless? Of course I am but I believe courage is not absent of fear. Courage is fueled by fear and launched in spite of it. I feel brave in my trembling because I know deep down below the surface I did the right thing for me. There is a peace in knowing and that is called faith. I’m standing on God’s promises that I am wonderfully made and I can do all things through Christ. I’m deservant of so much more than showing up everyday to a job I hate and providing sub par performance.
I have to learn to trust my gut more often. I knew taking that job was a mistake when I accepted the offer. I was in the middle of negotiating for a job I really wanted and because I also lack patience I took the more convenient lucrative offer. Again, all money ain’t good money! I should have listened to my gut and held out for the offer I knew would benefit me most in the long run. Coulda, woulda, shoulda is not my thing. I made the decision! I suffered the consequences! I now must take the risk to right the wrong I made a couple of years ago.
I panic, I get anxiety, and I cry but I still KNOW I did the right thing. My faith is stronger than my fear. I’m trusting the Lord and my savior to guide my steps and help me reach all the blessings that are in store for me. Now don’t get me wrong, I know faith without works is dead. I have to be prepared. I have to search, network and sharpen my skills. I can’t rest on my faith waiting for a windfall. “That’s not how it works…that’s not how any of this works”! I believe it was Oprah who I heard say luck is when preparation meets opportunity. I don’t believe in luck! I only believe in favor and blessings from above. It’s imperative to do your part because when you’re waiting on God, HE may be waiting on you. HE won’t have to wait for me. I’m going to do everything in my power to be ready when my time comes. I’m grateful now for the blessings I’m about to receive. I know I will have a testimony when all of this is said and done.
Faith and fear CAN co-exist because I am of this earth and as a human it’s OK to have these emotions. I know that everything that happens TO me is FOR me. No matter how bad it gets…there is a lesson in all of it. Nothing has ever turned out as bad as I’ve made it to be in my head. I have ALWAYS come out of the other side better, stronger, and happier. Since I know this to be true, I have to remind myself how far I’ve come. There is no reason for me to think otherwise because I’ve been shown multiple times the anointing on my life. Faith will hold my fears at bay when they rise up to greet me. Faith will look fear in the eyes and not glance away. Faith is bold, daring, and unwavering. It does not back down when doubt rears its ugly head. Fear is a reminder of my humanity but faith is a reminder of my spirit!