Miss him for what???? 

Wish I could answer my own question! 

Lately I have been thinking a lot about the guy I dated around this time last year. I can’t believe I have the audacity to miss him. 

This guy was the modern day poster child for disappearing acts. We had a few dates and he asked to go out again one night. I was quite tired so I invited him over instead. Big mistake…HUGE! 

We never went on a date again. He just came over every time. Annoying as this was it wasn’t our biggest problem. Every time I made him mad, he would literally disappear. He would not return calls, respond to text messages, or even sigh at smoke signals. It was the weirdest experience ever! I would expect this behavior from a woman not a man but ok! 

To add insult to injury, he would pop up later as if he’d spoken to me yesterday. Sir??? Where have you been? The sad part is the uncanny compatability. We totally got each other and had so much fun together when he wasn’t MIA. Unfortunately, I always knew the day would come when he would go missing one too many times. My personality type allows you to stand on a chair pretending to hang yourself over and over. Then comes the day when one leg breaks and you are officially hung! 

I’m sure you’re wondering what we would fight about? Or what was I saying that caused his silence? We usually fought about the limited time he had available. He worked ALL the time. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m the first to say get your coins especially since you can’t get a dime from me. BUT THIS, was on a whole nother level. Anyway, he would get pissed that I was annoyed and 💨 he was gone! 

The time before the last time, I hadn’t spoken to him in a month due to some undisclosed medical condition according to him. 😳 He called out of nowhere and we made plans around his “work” schedule. I knew in my gut he wouldn’t make it. I was partially right but I had the excuse wrong. It wasn’t “work” this time, it was his daughter. He had all month to take care of this task but he waited until the day we were scheduled to meet to do it. To his credit, he did text and say he was running late which he never did in the past. I guess this was him turning over a new leaf. Well it didn’t last very long. He asked if I wanted to reschedule because it was late? Appalled by the question, all I could say was sure. 

Confession: I knew a one word answer would piss him off but hell I was pissed.

 [I haven’t seen or heard from you in a month and you ask if I want to reschedule?! Really????!!!

So I reached out moments after that text and you know what happened next right?! Yep you guessed it…GONE! 

As predicted, it was the straw that broke the camels back! I was done! Needless to say, he popped his ass up again in his typical 30 day fashion. It was time for me to issue him a dose of his own medicine. I ignored all text messages and calls for about a week. He finally stopped communicating. I honestly didn’t do it out of spite at the time. I seriously had nothing left to say. It’s been about 60 days now and the devil is busy. When I tell you he is heavy on my mind…heavy! 

Regardless of the weight, I can’t subject myself to that abuse any more. He has no respect for me. It took me some time to figure that out. With that being said, I still miss him. I was hoping by the end of this purge I could tell you why…but nope…it’s still a mystery. Actually, NOT! Matters of the heart require no explanation. You want what you want but I’m here to tell you dear loves…you have to guard your heart with your head. You cannot let your heart lead as it could definitely steer you wrong. You may even have to pray for strength until your desires pass but have some self respect and control. When you know better, do better! 

I miss conversing with him, laughing, and well you know but none of that is enough to endure his shenanigans. Quiet is kept, he must of had someone else in order to just go away for such significant lengths of time. He is not the only compatible man on earth because until that time comes, I’m going to keep pushing forward. I really think this is jumping out because of my decision not to date anymore. I haven’t thought about him once until I made that commitment to myself. As I said, the devil is busy but so is God and my money, is on Him! 

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About ariessays

I have no other purpose but to honestly share my thoughts and experiences in hopes of helping someone else cope with this journey called life.
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